Zidane's Weird Day
by yukito the NM Syndromer
Summary: Uh, cameos from other games and anime, this story in basically summed up by the title. PG13 4 cussing.
1. Default Chapter

Zidane's Weird Day

yukito the Nm Syndromer

mewprout@yahoo.com 

or

yukitonmsyndromer@yahoo.com

yukito the NM Syndromer- Mwahahahahahaha! I'm back to torture you with another story! This one is going to be

a comedy crossover of FF7, FF8, and FF9. Characters from other games and anime may appear if I see fit. 

Don't you just love me?

Zidane- I don't love you, but I'd still do you.

yukito the NM Syndromer- *stares at Zidane for a moment, the presses a button and he gets electrocuted*

BZZZZTTT!

Zidane- Auuuggghhhh! What the hell?!

yukito the NM Syndromer- *sniff, sniff* Mmm! Crispy! But anyway, since you're a newbie muse, you have to be house broken.

You remember that bracelet I gave you?

Zidane- …Yeah?

yukito the NM Syndromer- That's actually a device that can send painful amounts of electricity through the body. 

You slip up and I shock.

Zidane- Ah. Did your other muses have to wear this?

yukito the NM Syndromer- Nah, you're the first. It's a prototype.

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the game or anime characters in this fic. If any of my characters show up, then

I can brag about how much they're mine without getting sued. Oh, and I'm not making any money off this fic.

Just letting you know.

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            Zidane jumped into a sitting position and glanced around, eyes wild. He was in his bedroom, but

the sheets were soaked with sweat.

            "Oy, it was just a bad dream," he sighed. "I hope I never get captured and forced to be a muse for

some sick, twisted chick. He patted the silver band that circled his wrist. "Good thing I got this good luck

charm from that complete total stranger on the street!"

            A young girl typing at her computer snickered evilly.

            Zidane got dressed and decided to go down to a bar to cook when he opened his cupboard and found an

old bone. To bad he didn't have a dog.

            Anyway, a few minutes later Zidane found himself waiting at the bus stop. He glanced at his

 watch just as the white and blue bus was approaching from down the street. He squinted. It sure was taking a while 

to arrive. He waited a little longer. It still looked like it was the same distance away, even though he could hear the roar

of the engine.

            A few hours later… Zidane was still waiting. He was getting really hungry and he had to take a whiz 

pretty bad. He glanced around and then looked down at his feet. When he looked up again the bus loomed over him,

even though he had not heard it approaching.

            "What the hell?" the genome jumped back, shocked. The doors of the bus opened with an audible "hiss".

            "You getting on?" Zell was at the driver's seat.

            "Yeah sure." Zidane climbed onto the bus and took a seat right behind Zell. "Why did it take so long for the

bus to get here?"

            Zell shrugged and closed the doors. "Oh, you know. A watched pot never boils."

            "Wait… what does that have to do with-…" Zidane couldn't get the sentence out before Zell

took off speeding down the street. Zidane yelped as Zell rounded a corner and he was sent flying across

the bus and into an old lady, who promptly smacked him and threw him back into his original seat.

Zell stopped the bus suddenly and opened the doors.

            "Alexandria Plaza. All ashore that's going ashore." Zidane was gripping the seat so tightly that his knuckles

turned white. His fangs were bared and his back arched. His puffed out tail helped give him the appearance of a scared

cat. He slowly got off the bus, the doors almost snapping shut on his tail. The bus drove off speedily as Zell laughed

maniacally. 

            "Freak…" Zidane murmured, then turned and walked into a small café. 

He sat down at the light brown counter and ordered a cappuccino. While waiting for his drink he glanced over

and saw a boy with spiky blonde hair and glowing blue eyes.

            "Hey, do I know you?" Zidane asked, leaning over and squinting a little. The boy looked up.

            "No. The name's Cloud."

            "I'm Zidane. You here for a drink?" Cloud shook his head.

            "Waiting for my girlfriend." As if on cue, Aeris hopped in, wearing a red skirt and a black shirt that boldly declared,

'I'm Not That Innocent'.

            "Hey, Cloud!" She spotted the silent boy by the bar and started to walk over. Before she could make it across 

the room, however, a tall man in black dropped down from the ceiling and stabbed her through the stomach.

He laughed maniacally and summoned a part of Jenova, which began attacking the patrons of the café.

            "NNNOOOOOO!!!" Cloud bolted from his stool and rushed off to the fallen girl's side.

            "Why do you act as if you have emotions. You are but a puppet. You have no heart. You-,"

The watch on Sephiroth's wrist beeped, and he looked at it. "Oh, goody! Time to go kill Mister Shinra!"

He happily skipped out the door.

            "Aw, f@ck. Not again," Aeris gasped out before collapsing. Cloud cradled her body, sobbing. He

then turned his head skyward and shook his fists.

            "Damn you, Salazar! Damn you!" Zidane had watched these events while taking small sips of

his cappuccino. Best not to get involved. He paid the bill and walked out, ignoring the piece of Jenova that

was still attacking the bystanders.

            Zidane needed to go to the bank to deposit a check. So…yeah. Anyway, he was walking

down the street when he bumped into a girl with long black hair wearing seifuku. 

            "Hey, you're kinda cute. Want to go see a movie sometime?"

A boy with long silver hair and pointy dog ears jumped in between them and growled.

            "What do you think you're doing?" he glared venomously at Zidane.

            "You must be her boyfriend. Sorry, dude." Zidane shrugged nonchalantly.

            "WHAT! She is not my girlfriend!" the silver haired dog demon swung back a fist, preparing to

slice Zidane for the blasphemous thought.

            "Sit, boy!" He then crashed face-first into the ground. Zidane stepped over his prone form.

            "What the heck was that for?" he heard Inu-Yasha whine at Kagome.

            "Weird couple."

            Turns out there was a huge line at the bank, and by the time Zidane got back home, he collapsed into

bed.

            "I just hope tomorrow isn't as weird as today."

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yukito the NM Sydromer: Tada! Please review! I might write another chapter if I find the time, but I need some ideas.

Tell me if you got any ideas for cameos or what should happen to Zidane. 


	2. la,la,la

Zidane's Weird Day Chapter 2 yukito the NM Syndromer  
  
mewprout@yahoo.com  
  
y.NM.S- Yay! I got some reviews! Brownie points to all!  
  
Zidane- Brownie points?  
  
y.NM.S- Yep. Brownie points.  
  
Zidane- How come I never get Brownie points?  
  
y.NM.S- Silly muse-boy! Trix are for rabbits!  
  
Zidane- Uh.right.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the videogame or anime characters that appear in this fic. If any of my own original characters do, then just know that they're mine, and can't be used without my permission. Well, they could, but if I find out I'll be seriously pissed and send you a virus. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The next morning, Zidane woke up bright and early. It was Monday, which meant he had to go to school. He had a quick breakfast of toast with toad jam and pickle juice.  
  
.  
  
The boy has issues, okay?  
  
Anyway, after getting dressed and gathering his homework (and hastily doing whatever he didn't do due to his procrastination *lazy bastard*), he set out.  
  
"I want to change the world kaze wo kakenukete nanimo osorezu ni ima yuuki to egao no KAKERA daite Change my mind jounetsu tayasazu ni takanaru mirai e te wo nobaseba kagayakeru hazu sa!" (1) Zidane sang as he skipped to school joyfully (albeit off tune). Suddenly the same boy (Inu- Yasha) and girl (Kagome) that he had seen yesterday rushed up to him, only now they were followed by a small boy with a tail (Shippo), a lady with a huge boomerang (Sango), and some guy that leered perversely at everything (Miroku).  
  
Inu-Yasha rushed up to him shouting, "You're ruining the opening theme! You sing it like this!" He sang the opening lines again, although he was even worse than Zidane. He sounded like he was howling. And provided he was a dog demon, this Zidane wouldn't doubt.  
  
As the blonde Genome shuffled quickly away from Inu-Yasha, he bumped into Miroku.  
  
"Sorry," he muttered, glancing up at the boy, and turning pale when he saw the look he was giving him.  
  
"That's alright," Miroku began smoothly. "Will you have my child?" Zidane's eyes grew the size of Texas, and he ran off down the street, screaming like a crazy person with chipmunks in his pants. "I was.just kidding," the stunned Miroku blinked, and was then smacked on the head by Sango.  
  
"You really need to stop doing that," she said irately.  
  
Shippo suddenly popped up, wailing, "Ne, Kagome! Is this how you use a tampon?" (2)  
  
After Zidane was a good amount of distance away from the people he would refer to as "weirdoes on Marijuana", he resumed a normal pace. He arrived at his school without further incident.  
  
His first period was math, and he shared that class with Dagger. Unluckily, he also shared that class with Eiko, and she was very reluctant to let anything develop between the two. Here's how things went for the entire hour.  
  
Zidane- Hey, Dagger, wanna go see a movie?  
  
Dagger- Well.  
  
Zidane- *gets hit with a spitball* *turns around to glare at Eiko, who is whistling innocently*  
  
Zidane- Anyway, as I was saying- *gets hit with a paper ball* *once more glares at Eiko, who is still trying to keep from bursting into happy peals of laughter*  
  
Dagger- I actually want to go see one movie where- *gets hit by someone's shoe*  
  
Zidane and Dagger- *turn around to glare at Eiko, who is missing one shoe and still trying to keep an innocent look on her face*  
  
Zidane- Right so- *is hit by a rock. A large, heavy rock. In the eye.* OH GOD!!! MY EYE!!! IT'S BLEEDING! I'M GOING TO DIE! SOMEBODY HELP MMEEEEEE!!!! *Runs out of the room.*  
  
Everyone else- 0.o  
  
Eiko- Geez, what a wuss.  
  
By lunch, Zidane had magically recovered, and was poking at his turtle meatloaf surprise.  
  
"You'll eat toad jam, but you won't eat turtle meatloaf?" Squall, who had just sat down, asked in his usual monotone voice.  
  
"But toad jam is good," Zidane argued. "Besides, they ruined the surprise by telling us that there are turtles in it. What fun is that?"  
  
He didn't receive a response. Not that he had been expecting one. Squall was weird like that.  
  
Sephiroth burst in through the western doors of the cafeteria, and Rufus burst in through the eastern ones. They had a gang of men following each of them, snapping their fingers to a beat ala Westside Story.  
  
Both assumed fighting stances, and Sephiroth raised his really excessively long sword, preparing to strike the young Shinra president down. Rufus, with the quick reflexes of a cat, raised his shotgun from its concealed position beneath his trench coat and shot. Sephiroth was injured badly, but merely walked off, muttering about needing more power and meteor.  
  
"Yay! My hero!" Cloud rushed in and he and Rufus shared a passionate kiss.  
  
"Man, that guy's a freak. Didn't his girlfriend die just yesterday?" Squall murmured. Zidane nodded and went back to poking at his undercooked meal.  
  
Zidane's next period was Science, and he dreaded it because a force so powerful that few dared to stand and oppose it taught the class.  
  
And that force was Id. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
y.NM.S- Mwahaha! A cliffhanger! I got tired of typing, but still wanted to post something up tonight.  
  
I got the lyrics to "Change the World" from animelyrics.com This tampon thing was a hilarious little event in RoseGoddess's fic, So Little They Know. Read it. Even if you're not a big fan of Inuyasha, you might still find it funny. 


	3. In Which There Are Blood Clots

Zidane's Weird Day

chapter 3

mewprout@yahoo.com

yukito the NM Syndromer

y.NM.S- Yay! I finally got a vomit flavored jellybean from those Harry Potter candy thingies! 

Zidane- Did you eat it?

y.NM.S- *cheerfully* Yep! They were nasty!

Zidane- Were you expecting any food associated with vomit to taste good?

y.NM.S- Actually, at first it was kind of sugary, but then the horrible acidic aftertaste kicked in. I gagged and had to get something to drink.

Zidane- Ah. Good for you.

y.NM.S: And thanks to anyone who reviewed and sent in ideas, it helps.

Disclaimer- Blah, blah, blah, not mine, blah, blah, blah, don't sue.

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            Zidane sat at his desk, extremely nervous. Id was sitting at the large black desk at the head of the room, a creepy grin stretched onto his face. Someone behind Zidane sneezed.

            Id shot up and fired a Chi blast at the poor adolescent, and resumed staring at the class as if nothing had happened.

            "Uh…" Zidane raised his hand. "Uh, Mr. Id? Aren't you supposed to teach us sciency things?" The evil red-haired

subconscious blinked and grinned.

            "Why, yes, that reminds me!" he got up from the desk and wheeled in a television. "I brought in a video

for us to watch! It's called _America's Funniest Home Biological Experiment Videos by Hojo. He happily donated_

several tapes to the school."

            "Only after he nearly burned the cafeteria down," Yusuke shouted from the back of the class. Id's grin now looked a little forced.

            "You're just lucky I reached my quota on killing for today, kid," he mumbled angrily. Id pressed start on the VCR and the tape began.

            An old dude appeared on the screen. "Hello, and welcome to _America's Funniest Home Biological Experiment Videos. I'm your host Hojo. And yes, I'm sexy, aren't I?" He proceeded to flex his muscles and do other such narcissist things. Several people in the room gagged._

            "Anyway, I would like to show you my first experiment. It is called the H-0998-75YU-4179-PEE-012, or Hamtaro for short." An image of a sickeningly cute orange and white hamster appeared on the screen. It blinked its eyes cutely, and made cute little sounds.

            "AHH! I have a blood clot in my brain!" Jiminy ran out of the room, screaming hysterically. 

            "Lucky bastard," Zidane thought. Jiminy always had some excuse to get out of class.

            "With this amazing creature, I can control the world," the mad scientist continued. "Watch as it seeps into the minds of these highly educated scholars and makes them cry like abused house wives!"

            Another video with several people was shown. One was curled in the corner, rocking back and forth and muttering about the apocalypse. Another was running about in circles and tripped over a chair every few seconds, screaming as if he were a decapitated chicken. The third was on his knees, shaking his fists at the sky and yelling 'Why have you forsaken me?!'

            The disturbing images were suddenly cut off, and Hojo appeared yet again.

            "Do you see what I can do to you?" he whispered eerily. "You can't escape. I know where you live. I know where all of you live. I will hunt you down and destroy you-," Id suddenly blasted the television screen, effectively (If not somewhat violently) turning off the video.

            "Dear God, that man was sick!" he said, an appalled look on his face. The bell rang, signaling the end of the period.

"Okay, you pathetic specimens of children," Id waved his hand at the door. "Leave my sight."

            Zidane's next period was supposed to be Language Arts, but his teacher, Legolas, was too high off of drugs to teach it.

So, Zidane caught up on his wonderful sleep. Then, he headed to P.E..

            "Alright, weakling humans, line up!" Vegeta roared.

            "Man, I hate this class," Squall muttered to Zidane. Zidane nodded in agreement.

            "Now, all of you, give me 25 laps around the school, and if I see one of you walking you're gonna get it!" Vegeta blew on his whistle and everyone started. The first five laps went by fairly easily, but after that everyone felt as if their heart would rupture. Abruptly, Squall passed out.

            "N-O-O-O-O!" Cloud rushed forward and pounded at the ground next to Squall's body, sobbing. "I loved him so much!"

            "Get the hell away from him!" Zidane swatted Cloud away. "What is your problem?! Do you get a new boyfriend/girlfriend every day of the week?!"

            Cloud looked hurt. "I just want to be loved…" He ran away, sobbing once more.

           "Whatever," Vegeta said. He looked down at the brown-haired teenager and kicked his prone form. Squall twitched,

but didn't respond aside from that. "I think he's in a coma."

            Everyone just stood there.

            "Maybe someone should, um… get an ambulance…"

            No one moved.

            "Fine!" Zidane threw up his hands in exasperation. "_I'll call the hospital."_

            A little while later, Squall was lying in a hospital bed with Zidane sitting at his side.

            "Dude, you're like my, DUDE! We were always so shibby, dude. If you die, dude, it would be, like, so excesstential!"

Zidane wept. A passing nurse overheard Zidane's peculiar lingo, but decided not to question him for an answer as to the word's meanings. (A/N Hell, _I don't understand what he said!)_

            "Well, I guess I should go," Zidane said, standing up. "The sick guy in the next bed has been yelling at me to shut up for the past half hour."

            "THANK YOU!" The aforementioned sick guy yelled.

            "Well, I'll see you later. Hope you get well soon." Zidane started to leave, but tripped over a plug. A loud beeping noise started to emit from the monitors. "Uh, I hope that wasn't important…" Zidane swiftly ran out, hoping no one saw him.

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y.NM.S: Yay, new chapter! Now I need to get to work on my other ones.

Characters From Other Stories: *look pissed* Naw, really?!

y.NM.S: Uh, yeah. I'll just go now. 0.o Righty'o then…


End file.
